Comments on: I can’t get no satisfaction.

By: F.

F. — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:03:26 +0000

I'm right there with you, lady. Nothing I've done that's law-related has really made me happy. I'm disappointed, but like Cosmopolitician said above, I guess this is a journey that we need to take to find our happy career place. I also really loved what Dr. Miggy said above: "The PhD is a means to an end, namely I hope it buys me the freedom to change my mind about my career as I see fit." That's kinda the road I'm trekking now.

By: andrea

andrea — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:59:56 +0000

Just following you over from flickr! Glad to see you are blogging again. I went from small private practice firm to legal aid thinking it would make me happier. It did…for six months. I don’t know if I just don’t like the practice of law or what. I’m searing though…searching for that fulfilling job!

By: kurtiss

kurtiss — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:18:41 +0000

I’m just grapsing at straws my damn self, but here’s some more of it: http://www.kurtiss.org/2008/06/30/expectation/

By: Expectation

Expectation — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:13:14 +0000

[...] wrote about her perception of a common dilemma in the field of law, her chosen profession: that no one is happy. Although my own field, engineering, is not universally analogous, I do draw some similarities [...]

By: Fayza

Fayza — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:15:21 +0000

A few questions for you, Kurtiss.

(1) How does one “dial back” expectations without being, well, disappointed fundamentally? How do you shake an expectation? By the time a thought becomes an expectation for me, it’s already so deeply rooted that “dialing back” would probably take some serious deprogramming. Thus explaining my blind move to San Francisco, for starters.

(2) You’re right; I have had very happy moments – standout happy, actually – that had nothing to do with my career. That’s sort of my point. I want those kinds of moments with my career as well, or else I wouldn’t have gone to school for umpteen years, spent cajillions of dollars on this education, and still feeling like the best days are far ahead.

I had no idea that it was possible to think harder than I already have, but Kurtiss, as per usual, you’ve made me do so!

By: kurtiss

kurtiss — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:26:32 +0000

I’m going to express an unpopular opinion that I find even myself trying to actively ignore. But the logical part of my mind keeps coming back to it: perhaps the only way to be consistently happy is to dial back your expectations.

I know it sounds awful; it sounds like defeat. It even sounds irresponsible. It has way less appeal than the responses your friends above have given. (They seem awesome and supportive, so absolutely no disrespect!)

Is it possible that what we’re experiencing is a relatively recent problem, and does it have anything to do with the fact that we were among the first generations to be told we could become anything, en masse?

Well I’m smart, but I’ve met smarter. I’ve been challenged and unchallenged, comfortable and miserable. But the times I remember being the happiest never had *anything* to do with my career. I want more of those. The best anything like a job has provided me was something akin to the manic end of an unhealthy sine wave.

There’s a couple lines in this Kipling poem that have really been on my mind lately; they feel more relevant than ever:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same

- ‘If’

He ends with “then you’ll be a man, my son.” But hey, I’m into gender equality.

By: drmiggy

drmiggy — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:20:50 +0000

I don’t know a single overachiever smarty pants who is happy with their current career choice for very long. Ever. You know why? Because we (yes, I’m including myself in that group) need challenges, and frankly there are very few positions out there that can feed our hunger indefinitely. I never thought I would be a biochemist for the rest of my life. The PhD is a means to an end, namely I hope it buys me the freedom to change my mind about my career as I see fit. Your law degree is the same. You learned valuable skills in law school that are transferable to any number of career paths, as you’ve already proven to yourself. The days of staying with one company for 35 years or longer are over. Screw it. Find what you like for now, and when you get tired of it, find the next thing.

By: cosmopolitician

cosmopolitician — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:27:28 +0000

you don’t choose your path, my dear friend. it chooses you. and until that path finds you, you will continue to seek it out. and seek it! for until you do, you will be unsatisfied.

so search to the ends of the earth for it. if it takes you YEARS! keep searching. and don’t feel silly. for the journey your search takes you on, is far greater than any journey you could have choosen yourself.

you inspire me everyday.