Monthly Archives: August 2008

Help! I haven’t any wild Viking spray!

Congratulations, Sarah Palin!  A (presumptive) female candidate for the second-highest office in this election; well, that’s absolutely great!  Yeah, sure, you’re no Hillary, but hey, no one as awesome as Hillary could stomach being John McCain’s right-hand (wo)man, anyway.  And you certainly are a woman, Miss Wasilla 1984.

So, um.  That’s a really nice picture we’ve got here, isn’t it, Sarah Barracuda?  I see that you’ll be rallying an entirely different constituent base in your bid for the Vice Presidency. That’s pretty neat. Must’ve been really exciting for McCain to discover you had such a pull with the aborigines.  An untargeted demographic indeed!  Although how significant is the costumed (or are they?) Viking contingent in the United States? Or the part-bear, part-human voter base? Oh, I get the appeal now!  It’s all about the boning, right?

Um.  Errr.  Whoops.  The Republicans absolutely do not mean it that way.  Silly Democrat.  Sex jokes are for kids!

Oh well. I’m sure McCain has some wonderful commentary on that, at any rate.

Now I just feel sorry for her.

No, wait.  No, I don’t.

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Goodbye, old friend.

I’ll admit:  I haven’t caught a Dave Matthews Band show since 2003 (although some would argue that was way past their heyday, anyway).  I wouldn’t own their latest album if it wasn’t for a friend sending me the MP3s that he snagged gratis.  When any of the band’s songs sneak onto my iPod’s playlist, I cringe a little and try to decide whether to skip them or endure them.  Their familiar riffs and strums and hums and lyrics that I can recite in my sleep remind me of my crazed obsession with a band that embodied the very essence of mass appeal.

But at one defined moment in time, I truly, truly loved them.

I had never loved a band like I loved Dave Matthews Band, and I haven’t loved a band more than them since.  I saw them perform religiously every summer from 1999 through 2003.  I ordered every album via pre-sale.  I belonged to the fan club.  I participated wildly in the Usenet group, marking the first time that I’d ever met online people in an offline setting.  I hung their posters upon my wall in college…and in law school.  Most women buy clothes, shoes, or makeup with the little they have left over in student loan money.  I bought Dave Matthews Band tickets.  I drove all over the region where I lived in order to catch every single show they were playing in my area.  I followed their tour bus all the way from San Diego to Los Angeles at 2:00 a.m.  I waited in the freezing cold on numerous occasions just to get a glimpse of them at worst, and a picture or autograph at best (I never got either).  I ruthlessly pushed my way to the front row at Madison Square Garden just so I could watch Dave’s fingers fly over the fret.  Oh, and of course, I was most definitely on a first name basis with Dave Matthews.  To me, he was the perfect man.  Quirky, fascinating, well-traveled, intelligent, liberal, international – not to mention inexplicably handsome (in my eyes) – he could do no wrong by me.

I have been described as having admirable taste in music, “except for that neurotic stint with Dave Matthews Band.”  I endure the ridicule of my hysteria to this very day.  But I’m still not ashamed to admit that  Dave Matthews Band, for a significant period in my young(er) adult life, was everything to me.

I might be over it now.  I might have abandoned my blind adoration.  I might have moved on to bigger and more indie things.  But a little – yet significant – part of me died when I heard the news of founding member and saxophonist Leroi Moore’s untimely passing.  For something that formed such a huge part of my more youthful, more carefree life and fueled my passion for music, my heart is a little bit broken today.

A little part of me is gone.  Things will never be the same again.  Rest in peace, Leroi.

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I’ve been unconferenced.

Ever had one of those weekends where, no matter how detoxifying your Sunday afternoon, you can’t quite conjure what you did on Friday?

I have. Actually, I did.

In fact, I’d shove this entire weekend squarely into that corner. And I’d give it a time out and make it face the wall, too. Lest you begin to pass judgment on me, however, you ought to let me explain why it was completely worth it.

Um, yes, sure, a few caveats are in order. For example, my statement is not to say that I imbibed so excessively that I dutifully sacrificed a portion of my memory and stomach lining to the Patron Saint of Porcelain. Ahem. You know what I mean. And, oh, that’s also not to say that I engaged in any sort of questionable activities that would lead to an intentional loss of cerebral cache (I gave up sniffing Elmer’s in the sixth grade, anyway). Not unless you classify sipping spirits with the local nerd neighborhood as a waste of brain cells. Which I truthfully think makes a great oxymoron. Oh, wow, there I go, remembering Friday night!

But it wasn’t a mere happy hour that threw me for a loop. Give your girl here a little more credit than that. I mean, I was in a sorority, wasn’t I? Errr, so, you see, it was the third annual session of this funny little un-conference called BarCamp Houston that really pulled the proverbial rug out from under me. While I don’t feel like giving you the etymology behind the nomenclature, suffice it to say that my executive summary highly endorses this disorganized organization of a collaborative workshop. And despite the misleading moniker, there was no bar at all. Well, not there, anyway.

It was my maiden appearance at such a symposium, and I had no idea what to expect. I had heard horror stories of races for your life to the whiteboard and Nancy Kerrigan-style thwackings of the competition (substituting IBMs for billy clubs, of course). So I donned a summertime-jubilee-in-the-park frock (while doing Nancy no justice by riskily exposing my invaluable knees), and toted my pumpkin-encased laptop along with me, in the event that it was necessary to assuage any doubts that I, too, am a very worthy member of the Houston techie geek community.

In true better-late-than-never fashion, I rolled into the Houston Technology Center well past lunchtime (’cause this vegetarian don’t play Pappas, yo), just in time to catch the very essence of what makes a great BarCamp seminar – my darling friend Tracy giving a presentation on the wonders, marvels, and thrills of the Flickr-verse. Except I’m positing a guess that when she floated out of bed on Saturday morning and put her cute, boisterous self in that smashing teal blouse, she probably had no idea she’d be doing any such thing. Speaking to a group of eager admirers, that is. Because yet again, in true BarCamp manner, every attendee is encouraged to become a presenter.

While I arrived altogether too late to participate in that way, I didn’t spend the afternoon bemoaning my inability to shower and dress at a decent hour. No, no, no. In the true spirit of me being me, Little Miss Extrovert took her show beyond the motherboards. The atmosphere was delightfully – and somewhat surprisingly! – congenial, and if there were any software engineers in the house, they certainly didn’t show it (I kid, I kid!). I maximized my time chatting up so many fantastic people from such far flung places such as Denton, College Station, and Katy (Bueller?), each doing his or her own thing to make cyberspace a happier, more interesting, more useful place for civilian neophytes the world over. We web lovers truly are a great lot (if I do say so myself), and we have the personality and pizazz to show for it.

Sure, someone got all shippy on me, accusing me of “diluting his personal brand.” And yeah, what occurred later with helium balloons is nobody’s business but our own. I can’t help it that the details got a little stormy as the day unraveled into twilight. But what happens at BarCamp stays at BarCamp? Not a chance. For what happens at BarCamp takes us all a long, long, longer way.

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