Tagged with blogging

Best of 2009: The Best-of Ketchup Edition. Yes, already.

Uh. As might be painfully evident to the naked eye, I’m woefully behind on the blog challenge.

I have a defense, though, I swear.

Well, you see, there was this beautiful, raven-haired fairy – she kinda looked like pre-Whenever Wherever Shakira, truth be told.  She fluttered up to my earlobe, her hair falling over her delicate little face, and whispered in my ear, “If you eat this cube of cheese-flavored sugar, all your dreams will come true.”  I know there’s no such thing, and it was really mean of her to taunt me like that.

I said, “Listen, lady, your hips may not lie, but your mouth does.  Sugar never tastes like cheese.  And I certainly don’t need any sugar, anyway.”  She took one look at me, buzzing steadily and glowing merrily. Then she pulled this amazingly iridescent sparkling bat from behind her tiny wings, and clubbed me right over the damn head.

You wouldn’t think something so miniscule would cause so much agony, and yet, there you have it (that’s what she said).

It happened that way.  I kid you not.

December 4. Book. What book – fiction or non – touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

I would generally call myself quite derelict in the “touching reading” department this year.  I spent too much time doing other things that made curling up with a book a luxury for which I longed much more than engaged in.  With that said, I can’t recall any books better than White Teeth and The Princess Bride.  And yes, I read Twilight.  Okay, half of it.  That was all that necessitated my attention.

December 5. Night out. Did you have a night out with friends or a loved one that rocked your world? Who was there? What was the highlight of the night?

Ah yes, there were a few good, good times.


December 6.
Workshop or conference. Was there a conference or workshop you attended that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?

While I loveloveloved NTEN, and I learned oodles and oodles and gobs of practical, useful, invaluable information, there truly was nothing that quite compared to or paralleled SXSWi.

December 7. Blog find of the year. That gem of a blog you can’t believe you didn’t know about until this year.

If you are gainfully employed at all (hey, stay-at-home-moms, that includes you, too!), and if you count your lucky stars for the black bean burritos at Taco Cabana, you should all be reading and taking notes from Dr. Miggy’s Healthy Blog for Busy Folks on Tight Budgets.  Of all the blogs that pass by my peepers, Dr. Miggy’s blog is the one that I want to bookmark most, and actually try the recipes that she artfully depicts.  She happens to be one of my dearest, most valued friends on this earth, so there’s your disclaimer.  I’m clearly biased in favor of a really effing rad blog.  Sue me.

December 8. Moment of peace. An hour or a day or a week of solitude. What was the quality of your breath? The state of your mind? How did you get there?

Striking this one.  It’s way too hokey for me.

December 9. Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?


Adventure racing.  And events associated.  Hands fucking down.

What made it the best challenge of the year for me?  You be the judge.

Call it like you see it.  I’m a badass.

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So, um, yeah, how ’bout them Cardinals?

I'm bashful.Why, hello.  HELLO HI!

Okay, we have to talk about it.

Being the bashful blogger that I am, I awoke early with the specific intent that I was going to write a blogpost.  You know, seeing that I haven’t done that since December (I’m ducking your gunfire as we speak).  Err.  Okay, okay, you caught me; that’s a total lie.  I was rudely shaken from peaceful slumber by my feline companion’s mewing, which, when unanswered, graduated to howling, which devolved into sucking on my hair and kneading his claws into my head (yes, this behavior is quite regular for him). I decided to jostle myself into the real world by hoisting my laptop onto the bed, and almost immediately, he fell asleep next to me.  He’s been completely silent for about, oh, let’s say, an hour?  That’s about as long as I’ve been up, anyway.

Sucker.

So instead of dwelling on the fact that my waking hours are likely to completely suck based upon the fact that I haven’t had a restful night of sleep for about a week, I decided to turn lemons into lemonade (yum, lemonade sounds great right now!) and write (wouldn’t it be great if the expression was “turning milk into cheese”?  I think I like that one better; I’m going to use it from here on out).

Ahem.  Except, like, I can’t.

You see, my brain is broken.  I’m blaming Twitter.  ‘Cause there has to be something to blame, and it’s pretty much required to be some sort of social media that psychologists will argue is changing my traditional social behaviors for the worse.  I mean, I only think in brief, bite-sized, followable quips anymore!  Everything else worth saying is either retweetable, overheard, or a link to a website!  And it’s amazing that the limits on what I have to say are 140 characters or less!  I know, it’s a Christmas miracle!

Woof.

I’ll be the first to admit that I pretty much suck at this blogging thing.  I didn’t always suck, but now, I do suck.  Sure, I have topics to write about.  I mean, I returned from the fun-and-learning-filled time warp that was SXSWi on…um, was it yesterday?  No, no, never mind, it doesn’t matter.  The point is, I have plenty to say about that, but perhaps not the time to gather my thoughts.  Or perspective?  Errr, perhaps not the motivation to gather my thoughts.  Oh, oh, and I know, there’s always time for me to further litter the blogosphere with my ideas on social media!  Because there’s not enough out there already!

Why am I lying so much this morning?  Any constructive thoughts that need to be written about have been completely overtaken by thoughts of boys.  Particular boys, theoretical boys, unspecific boys, but there you have it – boys, boys, boys.  Hey 30, is that you a-knockin’ or what?

Crap.  This is going downhill fast.  And my boss is going to read this.  And he’s going to shake his head, and maybe his cheeks will turn a little red.  O HAI BOSSMAN!

The truth is, the tunnels leading in and out of my head are pointing in a million, cajillion, bazillion different directions right now (why does this feel like a cop-out email that I’ve written to my friends back in Ohio when I can’t make it to their baby showers?).  So, think of this as a placeholder.  No, no, actually, think of me as the cute, wholesome, strangely attentive frat boy that diligently kept supplying you beers at that kegger (you know the one), who graciously got you wasted and encouraged and supported your idea of dancing on the couches topless while making out with your sorority sister,  who offered his bed to you when you were too drunk to make it back to the dorms (with sheets that hadn’t been washed since his freshman year, and was he a fifth-year senior already?), and who left the house for “class” before you could even roll over to ask him where your socks and underwear landed.  You’ll tell everyone it was love.

Moral of the story?  I’m using you, dear readers.  I’m using you and this blogpost to get my blogging groove back.

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

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I’m proud to be BlogHer-bound.

I first learned of BlogHer in 2005, when a friend living in the Bay Area made her way to the conference and sang its indisputable praises afterwards. It seemed like the loveliest (not to mention most revolutionary) idea – a conglomeration of female bloggers (well, the majority of them, anyway) from all walks of life, all sorts of writing experience levels, all forms of notoriety. Discussing the hefty role of women in the blogosphere, their impact, and their future. Amazing. Simply, undeniably fantastic. And highly intriguing. Although, lucky for me, I was a broke, unemployed law graduate (hey, wait a minute…) living in Ohio with my parents post-bar exam at the time. So my attendance was unfortunately impossible, save through any method but virtual support (at which I’m damn skilled, if I do say so myself). But, as a newly-established blogger (for a blog now defunct), I vowed that if I ever got the opportunity to attend this gathering of bright, opinionated lady authors, I’d seize it.

Fast forward to 2008. I’m currently living in San Francisco, and, lo and behold, BlogHer’s annual event is practically in my backyard (well, if I had one), and returning to its roots in Babylon by the Bay. Could I possibly deny the forces of scheduling at work here? I’d be a fool to shun ‘em. It’s pretty much in the cards that I am in attendance this year. So, I researched relenting to the forces that be.

However, ironically enough, I have once again found myself as a broke, unemployed law graduate (theme establishment, anyone?), so I will only be hobnobbing at the networking events (“cocktail parties,” if you’re nasty) at the end of the day’s work.

Or will I? Because, by a stroke of luck and well-informed connections, the rockin’ Gwen Bell hooked me up with her buds at Zwaggle to do a bit of a mini-evangelism to spread the good word of sharing and sharing alike. So perhaps I will get that glimpse of Dooce after all!

Zwaggle‘ll be keepin’ it eco-friendly at BlogHer ’08 by allowing BlogHer-goers to recycle their unwanted swag in favor of those who need it more. That’s kinda what they do on the regular, and now they’re bringin’ the goodness to BlogHer on a smaller scale. I mean, let’s be honest. How much of that conference swag are you actually keeping? Do you need every pen, notepad, and t-shirt you’ve acquired over the course of three days? Yeah, exactly. Zwaggle didn’t think so either.

One day, I thought I’d be missing BlogHer altogether due to my inability to keep the second and third weeks of July straight, and the next, I’m fixin’ to attend the Alltop/Kirtsy fete at Guy Kawasaki‘s house, I’m helping a great company like Zwaggle spread (and recollect!) the love, and I’m shindiggin’ at cocktail parties with the smartest of the scrawlin’ smarties for the entire weekend long.

My excitement is immeasurable, at this point. I’d overuse exclamation points, but I do that all the time, and it would just be trite. But, for the record, yay!

P.S. – Download (don’t print) the Pre-Conference Guide!

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