Awesome things? About me? Okay!

Photo taken by a Schipulite.

Photographer: A Schipulite

I generally try not to be a big ol’ buttface when it comes to being tagged for online memes, but actually, I’ve been a big ol’ buttface when it comes to being tagged for online memes.

Between Imelda tagging me back in – gasp! – November with a sixer, and Magsies tagging me at the beginning of the month with an eighter, well, I have squarely missed the window for a timely and polite in-kind reciprocation.  Damn me.

But what’s that saying the young folks use?  The one that validates being late?  Oh yes.  Better late than never! Word.

And so, without further ado, I present:

Six (to Eight?) Random & Awesome Things About Fayza

1. I never buy the first thing off the shelf. Never.  Ever.  I can’t even force myself to do it.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  I’ll immediately circle back around and replace the item on the shelf where I found it.  Then I’ll take the third one, which is now the second one (because, you see, the second one became the first one by virtue of me taking the formerly first one, and now the old second one is the new first one and is thus disqualified for purchase).  And, um, yeah.  I swear I’m not psychotic.

2. I wanted to be an interior designer, but my college career counselor talked me out of it.  I marched into my career counselor’s office early in my freshman year in college (and barely a semester into my Political Science major), and said, “I want to change my major.  To Interior Design.”  She skeptically peered down her glasses at me, ruminated for a bit, and proceeded to sling every reason in the book as to why that was a bad idea.  Perhaps it was; I settled for an International Relations and Spanish major instead.  But I’m not convinced of the truth of her words to this day.  You should see my apartment; I had promise, dude.  Even my mom, who wasn’t a proponent of the switch at the time, has since eaten her words.

3. I’m an All-Ohio actress and an All-Ohio cheerleader.  Err, well, I was in 1996.  The acting honors came from my performance as Emily Webb in Our Town at a one-act invitational competition at Ohio Northern University.  One of the supporting actors?  None other than Jonathan Bennett, perhaps better known as Aaron Samuels in a little movie you may’ve heard of before – Mean Girls.  The cheering accolade was awarded while at a statewide cheerleading camp at Muskingum College called – you guessed it – Cheer Ohio.

4. My most favorite book in the whole wide entire world is The Hundred Dresses. I read it when I was in second grade, and no book has taught me more about being a good person to everyone, no matter what.  Read it yourself; you’ll know why.

5.  I’m deathly claustrophobic. And I don’t mean that figuratively.  I’m not afraid of much, and I have few phobias, but tiny, tightly enclosed spaces?  Yup.  That’s probably the highest on the Holy Shit List.  I once voluntarily allowed someone to put me in a locker in high school (mostly because I could stand up completely straight while inside, and it was awesome), and the person didn’t let me out immediately.  I went out of my mind with hyperventiliation and hysteria – to the point where I couldn’t even vocalize my fears.  As a result, I live in Texas (where everything’s bigger, yeee-haw!) and I do not do those hamster tube slides at waterparks.  If the mafia ever wrongly fingers me and I’m buried alive, rest assured I won’t be once they realize the mistake and exhume me.

6.  I’m allergic to cats. Surprise, surprise, right, since I have one?  I know, but ’tis true.  Itchy, watery eyes, stuffy nose, the whole nine.  I know what an allergic reaction to cats feels like.  It must be my luck of the dander draw, ’cause his doesn’t (and never has) irritate me a bit.

7.  I don’t think I’ll ever get married. I certainly don’t.  Truthfully.  And not in a woe-is-me sort of way.  Not at all.  More like in a geez-I’m-difficult-and-pretty-inconsistent-plus-I-love-love-love-my-independence-a-whole-bunch-and-I-don’t-think-I-want-kids-so-why-bother-really sort of way.  I’m okay with that.  I know you don’t believe me.  But I am.

8.  That’s enough, Fayza, that’s enough. Eight’s too many for me.  I’m already drunk on myself.  I didn’t eat dinner (okay, that’s a lie) and I haven’t consumed enough water.  I’d better quit while I’m ahead.  I don’t wanna wake up with a Fayza hangover in the morning.

And now, you’re it!

  • Perky Boobs – If anyone can rattle off six (to eight?) random things that you really wanna read (and can never find the chutzpah to say yourself), lemme tell you, it’s her.
  • Maisnon – Always a first-class meme responder, but methinks it is time for some fresh new memesponses!
  • Dr. Miggy – I am a robot.  I would like to meet other robots.  Thank you!
  • Yasmine – The original rockstar.
  • Jun Loayza – Hey, his last name’s 80% of my first name (just gloss over the math), and he’s an Angeleno.  He’s already a winner, in my book.
  • David Kadavy - Yet another David that will not take part in this, I’m pretty sure.  But you can’t fault a girl for tryin’.
  • George Smith – ‘Cause, ooh, ooh, how exciting is it that friends from my past are movin’ up into the future?